Saturday, November 04, 2006
There are only 4 paychecks left in this year. That's an odd way to measure time isn't it? Bear with me while I do some stream of conscoiusness blogging, because I'm not sure what to write, but wanted to post anyway. Why does life seem to revolve around money so much? Isn't money weird. It's a piece of paper or an electronic record that says one person deserves nicer, or better, or more stuff than another person. Or more vacations or nicer furniture for the bedroom or an hdtv with new max hdtv service. Why do I want these things? All that stuff is going to either help me waste more time or else its going to end up on the trash heap eventually. I can't even manage the stuff and time I do have proficiently, why do I want more? It's the end of the week, I've been working, so there's dishes all over, the kitchen's a mess and there's not many groceries, so I can't cook myself supper, even if everything was magically clean and organized I don't know what I would want to cook. So I ordered some pizza, as often occurs on friday or saturday nights because of this very same cycle. I want to do better, and keep a cleaner place, be more organized, eat more healthily, read more instead of watching tv, have less stuff laying around everywhere. I'm tired and crazy lazy, hey that rhymes. achahchhchcxcxg. There's no breaks. Just keep plugging away, and hopefully your head will stay above water, or at least not go under for that long. What else can you do? You can't fix everything all at once. In the words of my mom-in-law (and some self-help book she read), don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff. Come to think of it, I agree, mostly. Obvously it's not ALL small stuff, but most of the stuff I wrote about in this blog is mostly small. I think. Is it? I hope it is 'cause I'm not doing too good with some of it. I'm going to go read a recipe book and try not to cry now. Bye. Don't worry, deep, down I'm ok, I really am. Just had a little minor freak out. I'm so ok, I was thinking for a sec about not publishing this blog so as to not worry anyone. but I'm too lazy to write another blog . Ok Bye, for real.
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5 comments:
You know, I totally agree with that.
hey thanks, glad soneone does. that was the quickest comment I ever got I think.
Lindsay, what your blog is talking about is something we all face, but that does not make it easier, less complicated, or give us access to more answers. The truth is most people, christians included, live satisfied with living that way, wanting those things, frustrated with how it's going but not willing to do anything about it. The act that you reflect on this means you are interested in God's heart in these things, even if not all is well.
Regarding time, money, energy, all that stuff, I wrestle daily with what the big pastor in the hawaiian shirt said, that the determining factor in whether or not your life will count for Jesus or not is focus. The 'wanting stuff' like hdTV, and so forth is a huge strugggle for me, and slowly I start to see that lots of these things, though not evil, take away from my focus (mentioned above). I think to myself how much better i could be at important things if i stopped doing less meaningful things with my time or money.
I don't have an easy answer, just a prayer and a moment to say I am glad to see someone else actually thinks about this stuff as opposed to being happy with the unabundant life.
Mike
I hear you Lindsay. I'm working on not using the four letter w word as much because there are few things that I want (oops said it :P). But with looking into a house it is hard to not want more in the house from space to upgrades... and then comes the whole money thing... And then I think of those struggling to stay above water with rent, bills and hopefully food and I cannot complain. Yes, you made many good points.
It's true that most of what we get hung up on is the small stuff - but in the end the small stuff adds up to big stuff.
God does not expect us to change everything in our lives at once, or stop desiring things that stand in His way all at once. Even Paul struggled right to the end with these things.
It's one fight at a time - and we're non-combatants. That's right, the Holy Spirit does it for us as we allow Him to fill us. Focus on that and the other things fall into place.
I spend too much time trying to do the right thing, which is not a bad thing, until I try to do it on my own. Read the book of Galatians, and see what Paul wrote to those who try to be right with God through what they do (or don't do), and listen to what he says about the work in us being completed by the Holy Spirit. I just finished reading it again, and am encouraged that I don't have to be the perfect wife, mother, housekeeper, nurse, or Christian to be loved by God and filled with His Spirit.
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