waaa.

I'll try to have a more cheerful post soon but right now I just feel like complaining. I guess that makes me a spoiled brat because I've got many blessings I could speak of, but all I can think about now is the things making me unhappy. I've had almost a whole week off work now and I have to go back tommorow, but I don't want to go back. ever. I like being at home. I like staying at home and making meals for Joel and keeping the place cleaner than usual and what not. The other complaint I have is that I got a brand new french press coffee pot for Christmas, and I liked it very much and it made very good coffee. After the first time I used it on Boxing day morning I accidentally dropped it and it shattered.

Also, I've mentioned on here before about how I've got these strong feelings that I want to become a mother. I've felt this way almost 2 years now, and it's getting worse and I cry about it probably a couple times a month now, even though I try not to dwell it. Maybe I'm just depressed because of the winter blues and I'm projecting it on to this issue. And if I'm being perfectly honest, the fact that so many people I know are now beginning or in the midst of their child raising years, doesn't make it easier on me. Ofcourse I'm happy for these people, I'm overjoyed for them, they are some of the dearest people in the world to me. And I want that kind of joy too.

Maybe I've had too much time off work and too much time to think. It's probably best that I go back to work tommorow.