Back.

We went on a holiday to Jasper/Edmonton for a week . We had a good time for the most part. Did some great hikes. Saw beautiful scenery, took some pictures. My favorite part was going up the tramway on Whistler's Mountain. I still have a few days off before I have to go back to work, and I feel way better than I did before my vacation began.

To update the oven situation, I tried changing the element and it did not work. But then I found out what was wrong. Joel had been messing with the knobs/dials trying to get the timer to work. While doing that, he inadvertently put the oven into automatic mode, causing the oven part not to work for some reason. I switched the dial back to manual mode, and we were back in baking business, baby.

That is all for now.

Can anyone interpret this?

It's 7:17 in the morning. I just woke up from a weird dream: I was trying to get somewhere on time. It was dark and I was riding my bike on 8th street near the Circle Drive over pass. Suddenly my bike stops and I drag it onto the boulevard in the middle to avoid getting hit by traffic whizzing past me. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with my bike and all of a sudden Phillip Yancey (a Christian author) is there. He shows me that my tire is busted. This perturbs me because I just got the bike. I look around to see if there is anywhere I can get my tire fixed, and I go to the nearby building. It's a convenience store/gas station that also happens to be a veterinarian's. I spend a long time waiting in line behind a guy who wants to pay for his gas and get his pitbull fixed at the same time, since he's here. It look just like a 7/11 inside except instead of the 7/11 logo it has a green outline of a yorkshire terrier. As I'm waiting in line all I can think about is how I'm going to get my bike warranty out when I get home and make someone pay for me getting my tire fixed... That's about all I can remember. It was probably just a junk dream, because I'm reading a book by Phillip Yancy right now, and I watched a documentary on dog gestation before I fell asleep. But the dream sure gave me an uneasy feeling.

I've eaten out a lot this week.

Not that I wanted to, but our oven just up and quit working a few days ago. I thought maybe the fuses had gone, but we went and got new ones and that didn't fix anything. So I now have to read up on the Internet on appliance repair, or get a new oven. We were going to get a new one at some point anyway, but it wasn't high on the priority list. Plus we wanted our next oven to have a flat top instead of a coil top, but I can't find any flat tops in the size we need. We need the apartment size which is 24" across, instead of the standard 30" size. If we got the 30" size, we would need to take our cupboards off the wall, insert a 6" spacer at the end and then put the cupboards back on so that oven would sit in the proper position under the new range hood. That would be lots of work which I didn't want to do right now, especially since my vacation starts in 2 days. The other thing that sucks about this is that if we get a new oven it won't match our fridge and dishwasher because they are almond colour, and they don't make almond appliances anymore. I dunno what I should do. I guess I'll try fixing it first.

What you bring to the text can change it's meaning.

In reference to Pastor Pepsi's post of today regarding what makes a book Christian. (http://pastorpepsi.blogspot.com/)

I commented along the lines that I feel the reader plays an important part in what makes any book Christian. I feel strongly about this, but I'm having a difficult time expressing exactly why. I guess basically, Christians have the Holy Spirit indwelling them, a constant companion who gives important perspective to inform our reading and protect our minds. The most beautiful thing about this is that we are able to give a Christian reading to any book, regardless of who wrote or published it. This is how we are able to engage the culture we live in without buying into it. Of course, there are some books perhaps should not be read, but I believe the Holy Spirit will guide each Christian on that point as well. One Christian might benefit from reading a certain book, which may cause another to stumble. And that applies to "secular" books, as well as books that would be sold in Parables. For example, there are "Christian Romance" novels that may inspire a single woman to look for godly values in a mate, but could cause a married woman to stumble if she begins to compare the hero in the novel to her own husband. That's just one example.

Well, I hope I've been able to be clear enough. Does anyone have anything else to add?

Snacks

Found two yummy and relatively healthy snacks today. One is for you cracker lovers out there. It's called Kashi TLC (tasty little crackers) in Honey Sesame flavour. They've got 7 whole grains and 0 trans fat. For those who prefer cookies, I found Simple Pleasures Baked Cookie Bars. The flavour I got is called California Crunch. They've got raisins, the odd cranberry, oats and sunflower seeds. Each has 4g of protein, 3g of fiber, 1.5 g of omega 6 and 0.4 g of omega 3 polyunsaturated fats. I found said snacks at Walmart. I always find more than I bargained for there.

I also bought a new pair of runners and a new outfit for my morning walks I'm planning on doing. I went this morning and my left heel now has a blister on it from the nasty runners I had. Know what's kind of funny? I took Joel's i-pod with me and I had unloaded Joel's songs and loaded it with just the right amount of my music for my walk. But I forgot to put Joel's music back onto it and he took it to work today. So instead of his brooding man-rock like Billy Talent or Incubus he'll be listening to some Sheryl Crow, Bif Naked, Hanson, and Gwen Steffani on his break. But I also put a couple Johnny Cash songs and 1 U2 song, so maybe he won't be too ticked.

Most Embarrassing Work Situation Ever.

The most embarrassing thing that has ever to me happened at work happened today. I was working on a trouble and had to give our customers a new modem. When I was setting up the wireless, I had to type "home" into the address bar to take me to the modem's internal control page. I must have miss-typed something because a page from the customer's Internet history came up instead. It was a porn site. The customer was standing right beside me, and he knew what had happened before I did, because he said "Oh no! That's so embarrassing!" before the page had even loaded fully and before I had even realized what I had done. He quickly typed in what I had meant to, and I finished and left within two minutes after that happened, trying to pretend nothing was weird. As I was driving home, felt like crying and laughing, but mostly crying. So I prayed for the man. I still feel kind of dirty for having seen that stuff, though.

Today is my first of 4 days off. I'm alone at home, watching a marathon of a certain reality show on tv ( I'm too embarrassed to admit which reality show it is!) Glad I'm not working today because about an hour ago it started snowing like crazy, and it's just so nice to sit here and watch it through my window rather than having to deal with it. I got my performance evaluation done at work this week, and it was really good. I really like to hear officially from my boss how I'm doing every so often because I tend to doubt myself even though I try my best 99% of the time. There were about 12 or 15 different areas my boss rated me in and in 3 areas I got "meets job requirements" and the rest were all "exceeds job requirements", so that felt really good. Still haven't heard whether my term will be extended or if they'll have to do layoffs for a while. My end date is Jan. 29. But I'm not too worried about it either way.

In other news, we'll be moving at the end of February, because we've purchased a little condo. Yes, we were finally approved for a mortgage. The place is not too far from where we live now, and it's a pretty typical 2 bedroom apartment style condo. Big enough for the two of us for now, and could also have room for a little one if that were to occur in a few years.

I think owning our place instead of renting is going to be a financial turing point for us, and I figured out that if we continue on with the same income, that we will be able to have our student loans and other debts (except mortgage) paid of just before I turn 30, which is just over 4 years from now. So I'm ready to focus on the task at hand for the next while, and try to ignore this crazy maternal instinct of mine until we're older and wiser and more financially secure. I'll probably still cry on mother's day though. But then , I'll probably cry on mother's day after I have kids too.

We had a great new year's eve. We hosted a small, impromptu gathering. We found out like 5 hours beforehand. One of our best friends, Mike, came over, as well as Matt and Melanie from Mike's small group. We had good food, played some guitar hero 2, rang in the new year while playing Settlers of Catan Cities and Knights. At midnight we had a crisis trying to open the sparkling apple juice on time for the toast. It seemed really funny at the time. It was a really enjoyable time. I love having people over, but I'm usually too shy to invite people.

That's all for now. Happy new year.

Feel better now.

Just a short note to say I feel better from my complaining blog earlier. My complaints still exist, but I have many blessings to report, just don't have any more time to blog for a couple days, and didn't want to leave my blog hanging on a negative note.

waaa.

I'll try to have a more cheerful post soon but right now I just feel like complaining. I guess that makes me a spoiled brat because I've got many blessings I could speak of, but all I can think about now is the things making me unhappy. I've had almost a whole week off work now and I have to go back tommorow, but I don't want to go back. ever. I like being at home. I like staying at home and making meals for Joel and keeping the place cleaner than usual and what not. The other complaint I have is that I got a brand new french press coffee pot for Christmas, and I liked it very much and it made very good coffee. After the first time I used it on Boxing day morning I accidentally dropped it and it shattered.

Also, I've mentioned on here before about how I've got these strong feelings that I want to become a mother. I've felt this way almost 2 years now, and it's getting worse and I cry about it probably a couple times a month now, even though I try not to dwell it. Maybe I'm just depressed because of the winter blues and I'm projecting it on to this issue. And if I'm being perfectly honest, the fact that so many people I know are now beginning or in the midst of their child raising years, doesn't make it easier on me. Ofcourse I'm happy for these people, I'm overjoyed for them, they are some of the dearest people in the world to me. And I want that kind of joy too.

Maybe I've had too much time off work and too much time to think. It's probably best that I go back to work tommorow.

They don't serve breakfast in hell.

I heard this song on the radio twice today. It's pretty new to me since I wasn't a Christian when it came out, and I just recently started trying to improve the messages that go into my ears by listening to free 100.3 instead of other radio staions while I'm in the van. But what do people think about this song? I don't like it. It's annoyingly catchy and I don't want it to play over and over in my head.

Pastor Leyton said today that joy and sorrow can exist in the same person at the same time. I needed to hear that because I was feeling guilty for feeling any joy when painful events are occuring in the lives of my family and friends. Now I don't understand this, but I guess that's how God made us, and that's how He is too, and it's good to feel deeply.

Violence in P.A.

I grew up in P.A. and my parents and brother still live there. Both my Dad and brother have had their lives in danger within the last year. A while ago, my dad was working (he used to deliver pizza as a side job) and he was jumped by a group of people and had his wallet stolen and was beaten to within an inch of his life, now every time I see my dad I'm reminded of this incident because all of his front teeth were knocked out. I'm posting about this now because last week my brother was at a going away party for one of his friends (not the type of party I would find myself at, but that should be irrelevant). Again, a group of people decided they wanted to crash this party, and thoroughly kicked the crap out of two of my brother's friends before one of his other friends called him to come outside to try and help the situation (this angers me, I don't know what they thought he was going to do). When my brother got outside one of the crashers pulled a knife, and my brother began to fear for his life, and made a poor decision, which I can't post here because it could get him in trouble. Let's just say the crashers are lucky to be alive, and my brother is lucky to not be in jail. I'm still stunned by this incident, can't believe this happened again to another member of my immediate family, and can't believe what my brother tried to do. I'm angry and confused and feel like I should do something but I don't know what. Not even sure what to pray, except maybe that my family's hearts would not be hardened by racism any further. God help us.

The Battle Continues

For the last week I've been trying not to watch TV, and utterly failing. I had asked Joel if we could get rid of the rabbit ears for awhile because I knew I wanted to stop wasting so much time and try to fill it with more important things. I could tell from his response that he wasn't thrilled with the idea. This is something I feel God leading me to do, but Joel wanted me to just not watch, and leave the rabbit ears alone. So I tried it Joel's way, and failed because I'm weak. So Thursday night I took them off and hid them, and now I have gone over 36 hours without watching any TV, and done devotions twice, as well as a load of dishes, while still working (today is my first day off). And Joel hasn't died or even asked me where they were. Hopefully I won't be so tempted to watch TV that I'll dig them out of their hiding place and put them back.

I have more to blog about, but it needs its own post.

There are only 4 paychecks left in this year. That's an odd way to measure time isn't it? Bear with me while I do some stream of conscoiusness blogging, because I'm not sure what to write, but wanted to post anyway. Why does life seem to revolve around money so much? Isn't money weird. It's a piece of paper or an electronic record that says one person deserves nicer, or better, or more stuff than another person. Or more vacations or nicer furniture for the bedroom or an hdtv with new max hdtv service. Why do I want these things? All that stuff is going to either help me waste more time or else its going to end up on the trash heap eventually. I can't even manage the stuff and time I do have proficiently, why do I want more? It's the end of the week, I've been working, so there's dishes all over, the kitchen's a mess and there's not many groceries, so I can't cook myself supper, even if everything was magically clean and organized I don't know what I would want to cook. So I ordered some pizza, as often occurs on friday or saturday nights because of this very same cycle. I want to do better, and keep a cleaner place, be more organized, eat more healthily, read more instead of watching tv, have less stuff laying around everywhere. I'm tired and crazy lazy, hey that rhymes. achahchhchcxcxg. There's no breaks. Just keep plugging away, and hopefully your head will stay above water, or at least not go under for that long. What else can you do? You can't fix everything all at once. In the words of my mom-in-law (and some self-help book she read), don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff. Come to think of it, I agree, mostly. Obvously it's not ALL small stuff, but most of the stuff I wrote about in this blog is mostly small. I think. Is it? I hope it is 'cause I'm not doing too good with some of it. I'm going to go read a recipe book and try not to cry now. Bye. Don't worry, deep, down I'm ok, I really am. Just had a little minor freak out. I'm so ok, I was thinking for a sec about not publishing this blog so as to not worry anyone. but I'm too lazy to write another blog . Ok Bye, for real.

Blink and it's next month

I can't believe it's been a month since I posted. Time is going by so fast. Physically, I'm doing much better compared to last month. Work is still steady but not as insane. They're sending home the people they sent in from around the province to help out this week. It's getting cold. Joel's birthday is in two weeks. He'll be 25. We're getting old. Sorry for all the short random thoughts, been going so fast these days I haven't had a chance to build the short random things into something meaningful.

I found this picture of Joel, and I think it's so cute, I wanted to post it. I'm going to have little kids that look like this someday.

Falling apart at the seams!

Well, my ankle is almost all better now. It just feels a little stiff. Joel and I have had kind of a rough month physically, though. Shortly after I sprained my ankle, Joel sprained something in his neck while he was sleeping. We think it was due to some repetitive strain his neck took at work from folding clothes. That took a few days to heal totally. Then about a week later, Joel got the flu, which took a few days for him to feel better. Now I did something to my back when I was sleeping and it hurts to move. It happened not last night but the night before, and towards the end of yesterday I thought I was feeling better, but after sleeping last night it feels worse again. It hurts every time I move it, which is why I'm not in church right now like I would like to be. Well, hopefully my back will be alright after another day of sitting around the apartment. If not, I have a physical booked for Tuesday anyway, so I'll ask the doctor about it then.

I'm on my four day weekend from work right now, and I had dreams of going on a fall hike somewhere. With the rain and my back, that doesn't look likely, sadly. But at least last night when my back wasn't feeling too bad, I got to see some friends and get out of the apartment with Joel. We had some delicious chili for supper, then blueberry pie for dessert. We also had a rousing game of phase 10, followed by a fast-paced game of settlers of catan. Interspersed talk of various appendages added spice to the evening. Don't Ask.

Anyway, if you read this please pray for me. Besides my physical woes, there are other issues in my life that are causing me stress. I'd prolly go crazy if I weren't so darn sane.

Help, please.

Hi,

Sorry about the lack of blogging lately, life's busy, and it's kinda low on the priority list. I have a specific reason for posting today. I sprained my ankle at work yesterday, and I will be off until I can walk again. If you read this, could you please say a little prayer for me? I want to go back to work.

Thanks,
Lindsay

Am I living life on "auto-pilot"?

The movie "Click" caused me to ask that question of myself. Joel and I went to a matinee of this movie the other day and it is amazingly deep for an Adam Sandler movie. His movies are maturing as he is. It still managed to be really funny at the same time though. It was a good balance, for the most part. Still had a few unnecessarily coarse moments, but they were worth enduring, I think. Anyways, "auto-pilot" is what happens in the movie when Adam skips a scene of his life in expectation of the next big thing, whatever that may be (a promotion, for example). It's kind-of a basic physical maintenance kind of state, probably equivalent to being a zombie. I feel like I'm in auto-pilot sometimes, because I think about the next days off, holidays, when we will have kids, when we will pay off our student loans, when we will have our own house, instead of being completely "in the moment". Of course, some forethought is good, and dreams for the future can inspire your actions today. So what frequency of future-oriented thought is healthy? Daily? Hourly? Every few minutes? Weekly? Monthly? Yearly?

Right now I think about the future probably a couple of times a day. Sometimes those thoughts won't go away when they visit me, and I end up planning the next couple of years out in my mind in excruciating detail to the point that no mere mortal could even honestly plan. When I catch myself doing that I know that it is unhealthy and unproductive. And I need to discipline my mind to not do that. Why do I do that? Do I not really believe God is in control of it all, or do I just want to try to control it myself? Lord, I give it all to You and I choose to trust You today. Let me do the same tomorrow.

Who knew an Adam Sandler movie could cause me to search my soul like that?

I've survived the summer of two moves.

I apologize to the hard-core bloggers about my drought of posts for the last 3 weeks. It's been a busy time. Worked, got ready to move, worked, cleaned, worked, moved (which included lifting heavy things for me this time), worked, and now I have some cleaning to do at Joel's Dad's house today, then maybe I can get a little rest. But I wouldn't have been able to rest knowing I haven't blogged since June, just one of those things that eats away at you.

I stayed up too late last night. I'm not one of those people who can just compensate by sleeping in. The sun gets up early, and once it's up, I can't get back to sleep if I wake up. So I'm yawning even as I type this. It was a fun night though, hanging out with friends. I get lonely at work a lot because it is so task oriented, so it was great to start off my 4 days of by spending the evening with a bunch of nice people.

We're enjoying the new place. Nice to sit on your own furniture again after housesitting for 2 months.

What else should I talk about? I feel like this post is missing something, but not sure what else I should say. Let me know.

K?
Bye for now.

P.S.
It's ironic for me that every time this thing spell checks the word "Joel's " for me it suggests I replace it with "joyless". Just thought I'd tag that on.

God teaching me.

Just thought I'd share a little about what God is teaching me the last couple weeks. I got so sick and tired of myself, sinning, then coming clean over and over. I asked God to help me figure out what I can do to stop falling into the same stupid thing repeatedly. He answered my prayer by sort of "turning up the volume" on the Holy Spirit's voice within me. Now, more often, I'm able to notice my heart turning away from God the moment it happens. This gives me the chance to turn my heart back to God before I slip into the same old behaviour(s). The downside is that if I feel my heart turn away, and I don't do anything about it, my sin is more prideful and willful, more than just a slip. But Christ's blood is enough to cleanse even willful disobedience, and what God is doing in me makes me want to love Him and obey Him more and more.